Self-annihilating Love Destroys And Liberates

Discourse: Sadhguru

Love essentially means somebody else has become far more important than yourself. That may be distressing for your existence is threatened. You will lose all your freedom and everything that you have. The moment you say “I love you” you can no more do what you want in your life. There are innumerable problems, but at the same time it’s pleasant. It’s sweet. It drags you in. It is self-annihilating. If you do not annihilate yourself, you will never know love. Some part of you must die. If you don’t let this happen, there is no love, only calculation. What you call as love generally is a mutual benefit scheme. It’s an arrangement. There is still some sweetness in this; mutually, both people are benefited, but it is conditional. If you get very unreasonable the other person will slowly back off. Even in your love affair you have to be reasonable. But devotion is unreasonable love. It is one-sided madness. That is the beauty of loving God because you don’t have to have a relationship — you can just love. And if you have a relationship, it’s all on your terms... Love is self-annihilating because your personality, likes, dislikes — you are willing to surrender when you really love somebody. When there is no love, people are rigid. When suddenly they fall in love with someone, they are willing to twist themselves any way they need to, which is a fantastic spiritual process because you are becoming flexible. So love is definitely selfannihilating; that’s the most beautiful part of it, as long as you don’t handle it as a deal. We have formed a variety of relationships in our lives. There is indeed expression of love in these relationships. It should be there in everything that you do. But when we are talking about love as a spiritual process, as a process of self-annihilation, when we use the word “annihilation”, it looks like a negative word. Whether you call it annihilation or liberation, destruction or nirvana, when we say, Shiva is a destroyer, we are saying he is a compulsive lover. Love is not necessarily self-annihilation, it could be just annihilation. It all depends who you love. So he destroys you; because if it doesn’t destroy you, it is not a genuine love affair. When i say “destroy you”, it doesn’t mean destroying your home, your business, this or that. When what you call as “myself ”, your rigid personality, is destroyed in the process of loving, that is self-annihilation. If you love a man, woman or a child, in the process of loving not just you are getting entangled, the other person also gets entangled. Once the entanglement is mutual, you cannot release yourself when you grow out of it. The idea of looking up and loving Krishna, loving Jesus, loving something up there or loving a guru is because you need not have any fear of entanglement from the other side. You love as much as you want; when you grow out of it, there is no resistance from the other side. That is the beauty of devotion. Without some sense of love in you, without some sense of self-annihilation, you cannot meditate. If you pull down the whole of what you call as “myself ”, you will become absolutely still and transcendent. Inner engineering programmes, free introduction, March 12 and 26, 6.30 p.m. Contact: 9820529183, 9820058361.